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Originally Posted by Sojiita
Your cousin is perpetrating a private and public fraud. It is lying and deceitful for him to pretend to be straight around family..it denigrates him and those family members who 'supposedly' love him. There is no way he can be living this 'double life' and be really happy unless he is some sort of sociopath. He lives the way he does because he is forced to. You have no idea of the emotional toll that 'pretending to be straight' has on gay people. You only know what he chooses to tell you. To any reasonable observer, this man is doing what he is doing because he has no choice given that he believes that neither his family, nor his church, would accept him for the person he truly is. He is simply choosing one painful path over another-choosing the pain of living a lie around his family, to the pain of being who he really is and loosing the love and respect of his family and his church. Open your eyes!
And as for Travolta..he believes in, gives money to, and supports a 'religion' that is actively harmful to gay people. He would be worthy of scorn for this regardless of his own sexuality. Given his sexuality, he is a hypocrite, a liar, and is most reprehensible for his actions that support discrimination against other gay people. What he believes in is the important thing-and what he believes in is giving money and support to the discrimination against gay people..and us gays have every right to bust his ass for doing it.
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Trust me - he and I have had discussions on this. He's matter of fact about the entire thing. He's moved away from home and is living his own private life. He doesn't feel the need to walk into a family gathering and claim to be gay. He barely shrugs a shoulder at the thought. Discussion his sexuality and lying to his parents gets the same reaction he would give me about how his day went. "Oh, well" is his attitude.
You would have to sit amoungst these old world Italians to really know what I mean. They aren't 'bad' people, just ignorant. His parents would never have a heart to heart with him about his sexuality. As he himself put it, to come out now, to two 75+ parents? Why? So they can live the remainder of their days not understand this?
Trust me, it really doesn't bother him. It used to, when he was living in the same town as the rest of us (his teenage years), but now he's not. He's out there living his own life and once a year he comes home for a family gathering sometimes with a woman and some times alone. And who knows, maybe after his parents die, he'll stand up at the family table and say "I'M GAY!!"... but until then - and this was my point from the beginning - NO ONE should do that for him.
As for John Travolta, I just don't know - I think he's living his own personal hell torn between who he is and who he wants to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sojiita
Great. He gets women to 'go along with' his lie that he presents to his 'strict'(meaning unaccepting) family. How proud you must be that they participate in the lie with him. 'They come guised as his interest and get a good Italian meal out fo it..."..so..they basically help perpetrate a lie and deception... for food..great women these must be.
*too bad these women don't have the self esteem to say, "sorry..but I am not going to be your beard".*
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Proud? I said nothing about being proud. I accept what he does where his family is concerned. I am not going to look a 37 year old man in the face and tell him what to do - that is for him and him alone to do... if and when he wants. I respect his wishes. I am not there to dictate his life. I am there for him unconditionally. It's his life - not mine. I stand behind him - no matter what he does.
Self esteem? If these women knew he was gay and thought of this as an actual date, then I could see an issue. They are doing something for a friend of theirs. Are you telling me you have never gone anywhere with a female friend? Its not like they stand around groping one another, screaming "LOOK AT US". They walk in together, he introduces her by name, they chat, they eat, they leave. That's it.