[ultrafabviolet]

[Back at the circus, on the Ferris wheel]


Navin: Do you ever think we'd get to know each other well enough to kiss?

Patty: We don't have to. You're my man. It's like we're married.
Look at my ass.

Navin: Gosh! You have my last name tattooed right there under the j's! First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass! You know, I bet more people see that then the phone book.

[On miniature train, Navin is driving]

Navin: End of the line! This is Engineer Fred. Come back to visit me again!

Navin: I know this is our first date but, do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend, you could think of me?

Marie: Well I haven't made love to him yet.

Navin: That's too bad. Do you think it's possible that someday you can make love with me and think of him?

Marie: Who knows. Maybe you and he could make love and you could think of me.

Navin: I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere.


(Navin licks her face)


Marie: Do you have a girlfriend?

Navin: Does it matter?

Marie: Well, I'd like to think you were available.

Navin: Oh, I'm available.

(Patty rides into the trailer on her motorcycle)


Patty: Did you forget about my ass?

Navin: No, I've been thinking about it! She tattooed my name on her ass. Not just my name, a lot of names and funny sayings too! She's got one up here that says "Slippery when wet".

Marie: How do you know that?

Patty: What is she, some great piece of ass?

Navin: She's no great piece of ass! I mean uh, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. We're all adults here, lets reason this out. Now Marie is the type of person that if you got...

Patty: If Miss Class doesn't get her buns outta here, I'm going to drive this bike up her butt!

Navin: ...while Patty tends to be more direct.

Patty: And as for you farm boy, we're married. (Patty punches Navin) And as for you, cupie doll... (Marie punches Patty)

Navin: You protected me, you must really like me!

[On a beach at night]. . . .

It is oh-so ultrafantabulous that they are sticking to the original script of The Jerk. I really admire that.


(Now, care for more marshmallow Fluff to go with your macaroons and Wild Turkey slush? )

Vi