[Grimmlok]

Paris Hilton, Capitalist Tool

You think she’s dumb. Well, she’s dumb like a … mogul.

On Saturday night here in Cannes, Paris Hilton made $200,000 for an appearance at a charity function. A few weeks ago she pocketed $1 million in Vienna for a similar event, and she was flown first class to Austria, put up at the best hotel and treated like a princess.

What did she do for the money?

“All I had to do was wave, like this,” she says, imitating the royal palm turn.

Recently, I’m told, Paris’s father, Rick Hilton, dressed down a group of Paris’ agents at Endeavor, telling them they weren’t doing enough to market his daughter’s name and image.

“When people hear Paris Hilton, they don’t think of a hotel or some crummy city in Europe,” Hilton complained. “They think of my daughter.”

We’re really going to be thinking about her more in the weeks to come: on June 2, Paris’ first album will be released.

I told you about this back on March 8 in this very space. Warner Music Group is unleashing this project on the unsuspecting world, and if it’s a massive hit, then Lyor Cohen and Tom Whalley are the smartest men on the planet, and their inability to market Paul Simon, Neil Young and Donald Fagen will just prove that those men are outdated and Paris Hilton is the new Joni Mitchell.

(Wait: I have to stop here and self-flagellate a la Paul Bettany in "The Da Vinci Code.")

Paris is heading home to Malibu from Cannes tomorrow to film her first music video. The song is called “Stars Are Blind.”

On Saturday night, at that event for which she received the 200,000 clams, she stuck a CD on to the audio system and performed from her album for the first time anywhere.

She sang along to six of her tracks including “Screwed,” which listeners described as “difficult” to listen to.

But it doesn’t matter if Paris is the best or worst singer in the world. Like her jewelry line, her books and everything else, the CD will be a marketing tool, a widget with her name on it. Nothing with the name of that crummy city in Europe sells the same way.

Last night in Cannes I caught up with her at a yacht party (where else?) hosted by Revlon’s Ron Perelman aboard his spectacular Ultima II.

As we sat chatting on a little bench, Paris looked over at a beautiful young European woman wearing a beaded top.

“I want that top,” she said. “It’s hot.”

In a matter of minutes, it was established that the woman worked for designer Roberto Cavalli, and that sometime today Paris would get the top plus anything else she wanted. Gratis.

How late would she stay up, I wondered?

“I’m going to bed soon,” she said. “I have to be up at 10 a.m. tomorrow to work on my video.”

Ten a.m.? Paris Hilton?

“I’m 25 now,” she said. “I have responsibilities.”

FOXnews.com