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ANTONIO BANDERAS SLAMS MELANIE GRIFFITH'S
PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Actor ANTONIO BANDERAS has dismissed ongoing wife MELANIE GRIFFITH
and has taken to banging her personal assistant.

The husband of WORKING GIRL actress prompted furious debate after a
photo of him lounging in a dirty bathtub with the sultry, full-breasted
assistant surfaced on the internet.


ORIGINAL SIN: Banderas relaxes after satisfying sex
with younger woman with normal, non-screechy voice

This while his wife, PS nightmare and sign of the Apocalypse MELANIE
GRIFFITH, appeared on the front cover of the National Enquirer recently.
She was reported to have confessed to a drug relapse after glimpsing
herself in an unprotected mirror.

BANDERAS insists the sex was natural and understandable, given that
Melanie's assistant, KAREN WEISS, 26, is a former aerobics instructor
who loved wearing a skin-tight wetsuit around the house. He insisted
there was a perfectly innocent explanation for their constant
fornication.

He says, "My wife has been an alcoholic her whole life, or so AA says,
and KAREN here can suck a toaster through a straw. Melanie's been
ruining her face with PS for years. Karen used to model for Victoria's
Secret. Melanie has a screechy voice that frightens owls. Karen is a
5th-degree Karma Sutra Master who can bring a man to orgasm just
by reading a phone book out loud. Who can blame me? It's just a normal thing."