Quote:
Originally Posted by sputnik
i don't think women necessarily want privacy because of shame or because they view it as a dirty secret.
speaking for myself, i know if i gave up a child for adoption, the only way i could do it was if it was final and closed and that would be the last i would hear of it. of course i imagine you would always wonder and it can't be an easy decision, but to me, you either give your child up for adoption or you choose to remain in its life. it's one or the other, you can't give it up thinking you'll see him/her again because then you don't really have closure.
again, i'm just speaking for myself and in my case, if adoption meant the kid has a right to know who i am when it's older and i don't have a say in that, i'd get an abortion, no question about it.
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I think that, in some ways, the adoption or abortion situation can get women coming and going. If you abort you are at risk of being called a babykiller, of having loose morals and being made to feel shame and guilt for having to make that decision. If you have a child adopted there are those people who will snark behind your back that you are unfeeling, uncaring and (shock, horror!) unmaternal to be able to give your own flesh and blood away.