Quote:
Originally Posted by buttmunch
At the end of the day the birth mother has the right to say she doesn't want to know the child. If there is some medical condition then she could be contacted to provide information if necessary. I sympathize with the child but I think the mother's rights take precedence here.
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i completely agree.
and that's not to say i don't sympathise with the adopted daughter wanting to know who her mother is. i also don't think it's a sign of ungratefulness or selfishness toward the adoptive parents, it's simply the most normal thing in the world to want to know where you came from. but any adopted kid taking on that search has to be prepared for the worst: that one or both of his bio parents won't want anything to do with him/her.
i had a boyfriend who was adopted, and when he was a teenager he looked up his bio parents, satisfied his curiosity and then moved on. he didn't want his bio parents to be part of his life (and they didn't want to be a part of his either) but did feel the need to know where he came from. and he never called them his parents or even bio parents, it was always clear his parents are the people who adopted him.