[celeb_2006]

Originally Posted by sluce

Clearly you are not adopted and have no concern for those who were. Most adult adoptees love their parents, the ones who raised them. Wanting to know where you came from, who you look like, why you were relinquished, your medical history, where you acquired certain traits, etc. is not a sign of disloyalty to the adoptive parents. It is a basic need that those of who are raised in our families take for granted. Thinking it is disloyal is right up there with the people who tell adoptees how lucky they are to have been adopted and tell adoptive parents what saviors they are for raising these kids. The reality is that the adoptive parents are the lucky ones because thanks to the birthparents they were given an opportunity to parent at all. To call them saviors sets everyone up for a fall. It also plants the seed to the adoptee that they were thrown away once and now they are lucky that anyone wanted them at all. Then we wonder why adoptees are in therapy, recovery programs and commit suicide at a higher rate than the non adopted population.

I am pleased to have been involved in hundreds of reunions. People do not need the agency at all. It is pretty easy to get all the information you need to make contact without ever involving a social service agency. I have only had a few cases where the birthparent did not want a reunion. That usually happens because they have been living the lie and are now afraid of having to deal with it. Even in those cases they were willing to provide information and were very thankful to know that the adoptee was alive and well.

I do hope this case goes to court. Please remember that right now you are only hearing the side of the lawyer who represents the birthmother and both will benefit monetarily. Word in the industry is that when the facts come out the case will not look so cut and dry.

Please also keep in mind that there are very, very few adoptees as a result of rape. However, young women are sometimes told to say they were raped so there will be no need to identify a father which would then allow him to assert his parental rights if he wants. It is not used as much today but 20-30 years ago it was a tool used when they thought a birthfather might want custody. Leaving him out of the process was covered by claiming rape.

Well I'm not the only one here who feels the way I do.

Good for you for all of your work and what you believe in.