A lot of people seem to be ignoring the part about being "a mainstay of contemporary entertainment." That seems to imply this person has been around for awhile in a field they are well established in. Also, "Indeed, the dude’s whole life is as meticulously written as his hair is coiffed. And that ain’t just my big-hair Texas exaggeration shootin’ off, trust." Seems to imply this person's life has been written about and that they have "big hair". Plus, he's done movies and television. Howard Stern fits all the criteria.
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